Toxic masculinity is alive and well
Toxic masculinity is alive and well — just watch the current series of Married at First Sight (MAFS).
If you want to understand why sexual harassment persists in Australian workplaces, why women are still talked over in meetings, and why, on average, one woman is killed every nine days by a current or former partner, you don’t need a research paper.
Season 13 of MAFS has provided an uncomfortable but important public service: a prime-time showcase of the attitudes that underpin violence against women. A contestant openly seeking a “submissive” and “obedient” wife. Another whose partner reportedly struggles to speak freely in front of him, a textbook sign of coercive control.
Federal Minister Tanya Plibersek said it plainly: “Obedience is not a relationship preference. It’s about exerting power and control over women. We know that exerting power and control too often leads to violence.”
These are not reality TV quirks. They are warning signs. And they are present in the workforce right now.
The continuum from screen to street to workplace
Coercive control, the pattern of monitoring, isolation, manipulation and psychological domination that underpins most intimate partner violence, does not begin with a fist. It begins with the belief that a woman’s autonomy is conditional. Research in 2019 found that in all cases of domestic violence homicides, coercive and controlling behaviour preceded the killing. It is not a red flag. It is the crime in progress.
The national picture is stark. In 2023–24, 63% of all domestic homicide victims were female, with 81% of female victims killed by an intimate partner. One woman was killed every 8 days by an intimate partner in 2023-24. These are not private tragedies. They are the end point of a continuum that begins with exactly the attitudes on display in MAFS.
Those attitudes are in your workplace
There are approximately 15 million people in the Australian workforce, if we assume 50% are men, there are 7.5 million men in the Australian workforce. Some of them hold the same attitudes as the men being called out on screen. They are in team meetings, in leadership pipelines, and in lunchrooms across the country.
SBS reported data found that three-quarters of people would consider leaving a job where workplace sexual harassment was not treated seriously. The economic cost of violence against women to Australia is estimated at $26 billion annually, absorbed in absenteeism, staff turnover, reduced productivity, and the invisible tax paid daily by women who survive it. This is not a social issue that happens elsewhere. It is a business problem, a productivity problem, and a leadership problem.
What workplaces must do
MAFS has shown us that toxic masculinity is not a relic. It is current, widespread, and consequential. Employers who are serious about gender equality must move beyond policy checklists into genuine attitude change. This means:
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Run programs that challenge assumptions, not just behaviour. Under Australia’s positive duty obligations, introduced through the Sex Discrimination Act, employers are now legally required to proactively prevent sexual harassment, not simply respond to complaints. That means tackling the drivers, not just the incidents.
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Embed prevention in existing leadership frameworks. Gender equality conversations must be built into leadership development, inductions, and performance management, not siloed into standalone training.
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Make family and domestic violence support real and visible. Employees are entitled to 10 days of paid family and domestic violence leave under the National Employment Standards. Employers must actively communicate entitlements, train managers to respond without judgment, in a person-centred trauma-informed manner, and build genuine referral pathways.
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Measure culture, not just complaints. A policy is a floor, not a ceiling. Organisations must collect prevalence data, track culture over time, and hold leaders accountable for outcomes, not just process. As WGEA CEO Mary Wooldridge has noted, long-term culture change requires employees and leaders to know the policy, understand it, and act on it.
The moment is now
MAFS season 13 has sparked a national conversation that workplaces need to join. The attitudes on screen are not confined to reality TV contestants. They are distributed across every industry in this country. Prevention does not happen in policy documents. It happens in how we respond when a colleague makes a “joke,” in who we promote, and in whether leaders are willing to name what they see.
The men who hold these attitudes are in your workforce. The question is whether your workplace is going to challenge them, or look away.
Enmasse offers workshops and programs on gender equity in the workplace, unconscious bias and family violence prevention. Contact us to discuss some options.
References
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) Australia. Family, domestic and sexual violence data in Australia. aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence
Griffith University: Intimate Femicide – The role of coercive control (2019). https://research-repository.griffith.edu.au/server/api/core/bitstreams/150ba039-c4b9-4896-98b1-2c18052a49a5/content#:~:text=produce%20variations%20in%20male%20violence,Dobash%2C%202011;%202015).
Australian Bureau of Statistics (2025); https://www.abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/15-million-people-employed-december-2025
Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet; National Strategy to Achieve Gender Equality Discussion Paper, https://www.pmc.gov.au/resources/national-strategy-achieve-gender-equality-discussion-paper/current-state/gendered-violence#:~:text=There%20are%20significant%20economic%20costs,cost%20borne%20directly%20by%20victims.
HR Leader (2024) New WGEA data offers blueprint for employer action to prevent sexual harassment; https://www.hrleader.com.au/wellbeing/26175-new-wgea-data-offers-blueprint-for-employer-action-to-prevent-sexual-harassment#:~:text=Long%2Dterm%20culture%20change%20within%20organisations%20also%20requires,the%20policy%2C%20understand%20what's%20in%20it%20and*
