R U OK? Day 2022: Healing conversations
Psychologist Carl Rogers (1902-1987) is a hero of mine. Sixty-seven years ago, he published The Therapeutic Relationship: Recent Theory and Research , an article based on a lecture given at the University of Melbourne.
While the theory and research included in this publication are no longer recent, the therapeutic relationship remains relevant to this day.
Here’s what Rogers had to say all those years ago:
Three essential attitudes . . . are held to be more important than the therapist’s professional qualifications . . .: genuineness in the relationship; acceptance . . . of the client; an accurate, empathic understanding of the client’s phenomenal world.
(Rogers, 1965, p. 95)
The ability to talk and connect therapeutically was a cornerstone of Roger’s person-centred approach; the simple yet powerful idea that conversations can heal, with or without professional qualifications.
Fifty-five years later, the first R U OK? Day was held in 2010. With the help of Janina Nearn, Gavin Larkin passionately reminded us of the fact a conversation can change a life. Tragically, cancer ended his in 2011. R U OK? Day is Gavin’s legacy, having grown into a national movement that continues to encourage us all to have healing conversations with those struggling with life.
Today is R U OK? Day 2022 and the theme is No Qualifications Needed. While someone’s hesitation to ask R U OK? typically comes from a healthy intention – not wanting to make things worse – having a healing conversation is not only the domain of psychologists and other mental health professionals.
How could it be, when according to Rogers, the only requirements are that we are:
- genuine in our approach;
- accepting of the person before us; and
- curious and compassionate (empathic) about their lived experience.
Now of course I’m biased, being a psychologist and all, regarding how helpful qualified support can be when it’s needed. Having said that, I doubt you, the reader, disagrees, so perhaps all that is needed is a gentle reminder that it’s not your job to be a therapist.
In some cases, your willingness to have a healing conversation will be enough. When it isn’t, your care and concern will likely open the door for exploring what needs to happen next, which might include connecting the person with further support.
In any case, we’re onto something important here – formal qualifications are not needed to genuinely care for and show our support for those around us. Today and every day, let’s remain committed to having healing conversations, to asking ”R U OK?”
If your or someone else’s answer to the question R U OK? is no, please seek appropriate support. Contact Lifeline (13 11 14) for crisis support. If life is in danger, call 000.
En Masse offers a number of online and face-to-face workshops on supportive teams and healthy conversations at work, with a focus on practising out supportive conversations at both leader and employee level. Talk to us today about a program targeted to your team.
