GLOBE: 5 steps for supportive conversations

Get organised and prepare for a meeting with your colleague. Consider the following:

• The purpose of the meeting. Think about what you would like to talk about, write down some notes; the main purpose of the meeting is to talk about what you have noticed and help them to be productive again by developing an action plan together
• The best place to meet. This depends on what feels safest to the staff member; perhaps it’s meeting in a private room, or a walk-and-talk, or if you need to, a Zoom call.

Once you’re prepared, request a meeting to discuss your concerns and establish if there are any challenges your colleague needs support with.

• Make a time that’s convenient for both of you.
• Be very clear about why you have asked to meet with them: “I am concerned about your wellbeing... you haven’t seemed yourself lately”.
• Do not try to diagnose mental illness or try to be a counsellor
• Don’t rush - you don’t have to solve all the issues in that time; this may be the first meeting in a series
• Gather Information - begin by listening actively to the other person's concerns. Ask open-ended questions (“How have you been feeling lately?”) to fully understand their perspective and feelings. This shows that you care and are genuinely interested in what they have to say.
• Listen with empathy - empathise with their situation by acknowledging how they feel. Use phrases like "I can see why you feel that way" or "That sounds really challenging." This helps the person feel heard and validated.
• Offer support - once you understand their situation, offer your support. This could be in the form of advice if they ask for it, or simply being there for them to listen. Refer to BCG’s resources. Make sure they know they're not alone.
• Build solutions together - Encourage a collaborative approach to finding solutions. Ask for their ideas on how to address the issue and share your thoughts as well. Working together empowers them and strengthens your relationship.
• Take notes during or straight after the meeting

Your conversation is confidential, however you may need to disclose what they tell you if you feel that there is a serious or imminent threat to their own or others’ health and safety or if you are required by law. If you need to put it into words:

“This conversation is confidential. However, depending on what you tell me, we might need to get someone else involved. If that is the case, we can talk through some options (a member of the HR team, medical advice, EAP…). How does that sound?”

Some people may feel threatened, become defensive, or may even deny the problem. They could also become emotional or feel embarrassed that their behavioural changes have been noticed. If your team member chooses not to discuss their behaviour, then it is best to respect their boundaries. Just sitting, quietly, without saying too much, can be very helpful. Reassuring things you could say include:

Towards the end of your conversation, seeking agreement on “what next”. This could be to get some support from HR, talk to the EAP or doctor, or simply to take some time to rest and reflect. Encourage them by expressing confidence in their ability to handle the situation. Follow up later to see how things are going, which reinforces your support and shows that you care about their wellbeing.

Key message: Always make a time to follow up. If you are ever unsure about how to proceed, it is a good idea to discuss your concerns with HR. This can be de-identified.