How Do You Ask For Consent?
Watch this first : How do you ask for consent?
- Are you okay with that?
- "I ask if they feel safe — that helped me understand boundaries better."
- It doesn't have to be awkward. The more you ask, the easier it gets.
What is consent?
Consent means giving someone permission to do something — freely, clearly and actively. It’s not a one-off. It’s an ongoing conversation built on mutual trust, respect and choice.
Freely given
without pressure,manipulation or guilt
Clear and specific
not assumed or vague
Reversible
anyone can change their mind at any time
Enthusiastic
Silence or lack of resistance is not consent
And it applies to all relationships – not just sexual ones.
How do you ask for consent?
It doesn’t have to feel awkward. It’s about asking how someone feels and listening carefully to the answer.
Here are some things you might say:
- Are you comfortable with this?
- Do you want to keep going?
- Is this okay with you?
- "Would you like to stop or take a break?"
Asking questions builds connection. It shows you care about their safety and wellbeing — and yours too.
“When I started checking in regularly, we actually got closer. It felt like we both had a voice.”
When consent is NOT ok
There are times when someone can’t give consent - even if they don’t say “no”. For example, if someone is:
Under the influence of alcohol or drug
Feeling pressured, intimidated or scared
Not fully awake or conscious
Underage
“If you’re unsure — stop and check in. If someone doesn’t feel safe to say no, that’s not consent.”
Need help or support?
If you’re ever feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or have questions about relationships or boundaries — help is available. The University of Warwick has confidential support services where you can talk things through.
One final thought
What one thing you’ll do differently after reading this?
Practising one consent question with a friend
Checking in next time you’re unsure
Talking to someone about a time you didn’t feel safe